[Jesus] said to him, “Do you want to get well?”
“Sir,” the sick man answered, “I don’t have anyone to put me into the pool when the water is stirred up, but while I’m coming, someone goes down ahead of me.”
~ John 5: 6-7 (HCSB)
Man, do I resonate with this guy. Excuses, excuses. Legitimate excuses, but excuses and self-pity nonetheless. All Jesus wanted to know was if he wanted to get well.
Duh! Of course, I want to get well! But I’m all alone here. I have no one to help me!
So much my cry last night while lamenting I had no one to help me nutritionally through this whole cancer ordeal. I know my body needs superb nutritional support right now, but I have no resources to help me figure out how to safely choose quality supplements, what kind of eating plan is best for me, and offer accountability to help me stick to it. Forget figuring out how to pay for it.
Excuses, excuses! Jesus simply asks if I want to get well and waits for me to answer in the affirmative, believing He can and will heal me. Why is it so hard to just answer, “Yes!”
Yes! I WANT to be well! Heal me! Make me whole! YOU are the God of the Universe, and YOU are the only one who CAN! YOU are the one who SENT the angel to stir up the waters. YOU are the one who healed those who acted in faith. Heal me, Jesus! I WANT to be well!!
Why is that SO hard??
In the same way, if faith doesn’t have works, it is dead by itself. But some will say, “You have faith, and I have works.” Show me your faith without works, and I will show you faith from my works.
If I want to be well, if I believe Jesus can and wants to heal me – even when I have no earthly person to help me (nutritionally, anyway. Thankfully, I have TONS of support otherwise!) – what am I going to do that shows in my actions that I believe it?
What am I DOING to PROVE my faith?
This always seems to be the question with me. With marriage – Remember when God told me to plan my wedding with no groom in sight? With a baby. With a job for my husband. With my healing. He always asks me the same question:
What are you DOING to PROVE your faith?
This time around, God seems to be asking me to step out and start a home business in the midst of all this chaos. I have no idea how this is all going to work in the midst of chemo and an inevitable move whenever we land a new position, but it seems to be what He’s asking of me. Crazy? Yes. Insane? I could not agree more. But, it’s what He’s asking of me.
He also reminded me this morning that my healing was never contingent upon chemo curing my cancer. The type I have is generally considered to be incurable by modern medicine, just treatable and manageable. But, God has promised healing. All I was asked to do was take the step to let the chemo do its job, and then trust God to do the ultimate healing. So, if I believe He can and will heal me, I have to prove my faith by starting this business, even with no one to help me with the nutrition piece of the puzzle I feel is so important to helping me through the chemo. It still sounds impossible. I guess it’s good that with God all things are possible, even when we can’t see how!